She will be right back

Sorry for the delay, I’ve been having problems with my back, which has nothing to do with writing unless I’m trying to write with my toes in which case there would be a direct connection between writing and my back.

I’m willing to try just about anything to relieve this pain. If you don’t hear from me in the next couple of days then you know that I have attempted to write with my toes and have probably gotten myself into a really bad situation that not only hurts but is now unflattering. Don’t worry you won’t see any posts of monkey girl the writing wonder. It wouldn’t make me feel any better to be Monkey Girl the writing wonder either. I’m sure my agent, yes I would have an agent, would forge some kind of partnership with some monkey products brand, is there such thing? Like gorilla tape, I know gorillas and monkeys are not the same. I’ve been to the zoo you know. I’m just trying to make a point about Monkey girl but it’s gone and so is my million dollar deal, now I feel like Locke, the swimmer, you know a fish without water. 

Well better to have had a million and then to lose it then to never have had it before. It was fun while it lasted. All fifteen minutes of fame and I owe it to you, it all started here at my humble beginning, my blog that I’m still trying to write for with back pain. Sidebar, all my friends have back pain too. And we’re all around the same age. Is this it? One day you wake up and your back is out forever just because you have reached a certain age? What else breaks down? I’m scared to open my mouth, is something gonna fall out like my teeth or is my hair going to start thinning? So damn depressing, how did we get on this horrible subject? Oh my back. Back pain has become my side kick. There’s the girl with back pain. Is that Victoria? Whose that next to her? Oh that’s her back pain. 

Now I understand those stickers I used to see everywhere as a kid that said “Life sucks” remember those? The other one was “Life’s  bitch and then you die” I used to think, how horrible! Who would want that on their bumper as some kind of personal statement? 

Now I get it! I get how life can get so frustrating that it can turn into that motto. Or at least that is what it can feel like. Especially if you are trying to write with a pen stuck between your toes in a position only a gynecologist would know and your back is out. That can definitely make for a shitty point of view and if someone turns it into a bumper sticker, put me down for one!


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